I am not the best driver in the world. 1)I like to go fast when no one is around, 2)roll through stop signs, 3)look at things on either side of the road instead of the traffic in front of me, 4)careen from lane to lane at random and almost always without signaling, and 5) decelerate when I’m thinking so hard about something I forget that I’m driving. (see mistakes 1-5 and repeat). In Israel, I fit right in.

I have no idea why drivers in that country swerve without signaling, or accelerate madly to get to stop lights sometimes and stop without warning at others. Or why they sometimes let you in to traffic circles and sometimes not, or why they park up on the sidewalk, or back up for no reason. I know why I do. I just get preoccupied sometimes.
It’s great. Israeli drivers don’t just honk their car horns, they talk with them. There is a honk for hello, a honk for goodbye, a honk for ‘C’mere, I want a newspaper,’ and a honk for “I’m passing you on a motorcycle, please don’t careen into my lane (see bad action number 4, above).”

Could the immediacy of ancient history be distracting the drivers from the mundane business of looking at today’s road? What importance is the bumper of the guy in front of you when compared with the Roman march of conquest or the brave Judean resistance? How about the pressing existential dilemma of whether the State is the first flowering of our redemption of a people that deserve a homeland or a persistent, insignificant thorn in the claw of the hawk of the Saudi Empire?

I identify with the state of Israel. Hey, Friend! Let a girl merge here! Toot-toot-ooot—BWAAH!